A Neurotic Control Freak
by queen of laugh-a-lot
Summary: Klaus has Katherine compelled, locked and bolted in Alaric's apartment. But this time, he's also got Elena. And Caroline rings in, halfway through, angry and annoyed. Klaus picks up. You just know that chaos is going to ensue.


**A/N: I know, I should be working on Kills Or Kisses - I am, I assure you - but I worked on this ages ago and always meant to upload it! Just pretend after Klaus got his body back, Katherine, who's still under his compulsion grabbed Elena for him.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

'What _do_ they see in you?' Klaus asked, circling Elena, playing with her hair in between his supple fingers.

Elena suppressed a flinch; where was Caroline, she wondered incessantly. They'd been meaning to get together, to dress for the Decade Dance - Caroline would surely realise something was up and get someone to help.

The girl - or vampire - in question rang, Elena's mobile letting out a cheery trill, one Elena had given to Caroline, deeming it to be like her personality, bright and bubbly.

Klaus gave a swift smile, as he picked up Elena's phone. 'Caroline,' he read the caller id, '... who's this, Katherine?'

'The annoying blonde vampire I was going to give you,' Katherine replied instantly.

'Ah, Miss Forbes,' Klaus said, smirking. He picked up the phone and said, 'Elena can't come to the phone right now, is there anything I can do?'

'Who the heck are you? What are you doing with Elena's phone?' Caroline snapped down the phone.

Elena winced visibly. 'Caroline, don't! It's Klaus!'

Klaus hushed her with a glare. He opened his mouth to speak, but Caroline beat him to it.

'Klaus? _Klaus_ Klaus?' she repeated. 'The freak who wants to kill you? The Original hybrid-thingy, the maniac? The mental -,'

'Caroline, stop talking!' Elena yelled, noticing the way Klaus's face darkened.

'Well, well, well,' Klaus's voice was deep, sultry ... _threatening_. 'It seems we have a voice on this one.'

Elena looked terrified.

'A voice? A voice?' Caroline repeated. 'Oh, buddy, I have more than a voice! And seriously, you insane freak, I'm gonna come down there and kick your arse -,'

'Caroline, no...' Elena whispered, eyes fixed on how Klaus's face intensely darkened.

'Sweetheart, just a heads up, you've just signed your own death warrant,' Klaus said smoothly.

Caroline was silent for a second. Elena closed her eyes in despair.

'Listen, you arsehole, I don't care, okay? I know you're trying to sound all threatening and Original-ey and Klaus-ey and that stupid threatening,' Caroline put on a deep British voice, sounding a little like Klaus, ''I'm so awesome, you'd better be scared,' rubbish and all that _crap_, but it doesn't scare me.'

Klaus arched an eyebrow. Either the girl was a fantastic actor ... or she was absolutely and utterly serious. And she hadn't finished.

'And I swear, you can threaten me all you want, you can stake me, you can do anything because seriously, I have been through so much torture, it's a surprise if I live through one day without getting frickin' vervained or shot or getting impaled with wood or - anyway, back to Elena. She's got a life, a better one than me, a good one, and you can't just come in and flaunt off all your hybrid-ey stuff, just because you're so frickin' lonely! Go join some loners club, or something, and leave us alone!' Caroline took a deep breath and she _still_ hadn't finished. 'Or pal up with Jeremy; he's going through some loner-ey phase right now, so maybe you guys could be all buddy-buddy or something? Or you could stop killing? Or stop threatening Elena and everyone else? Or -,'

Klaus rubbed his temples tiredly; god, she was exhausting, he thought. And totally and completely unafraid of him. That was new. He began, 'Sweetheart, do me a favour and stake yourself. You talk far too much -,'

Caroline interrupted, letting out a laugh. 'Haha, you can't compel me over the phone, bozo!'

How many times had she insulted him? Klaus had lost count after 'freak'. 'Right,' he muttered, firmly. She was _going_ to die.

Shooting a look at Katherine, he compelled, 'Stay here. Watch Elena, and make sure she doesn't get out. Knock her out if you have to.'

Elena let out a gasp. 'No, please, please, don't go after Caroline!' she begged.

Klaus shot her a smile. 'I'll torture her, for a bit, before killing her, Elena. No need to worry.'

* * *

On the other side of town, outside her house, Caroline clapped a hand over her mouth.

What was she _thinking_? Mouthing off the evil-est Original ever? Despite it feeling good – _really_ good – Caroline had just seriously put herself up on Klaus's top Killing list. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

What was she going to do?

Run?

Look at Katherine and how well _that_ had turned out.

Besides, Elena was with Klaus; she couldn't leave one of her best friends in the hands of the murdering sociopath.

Caroline tried to stop her incessantly increasing list of Insulting Names To Call Klaus.

Annoying little git, she thought furiously.

She glanced around, before running a hand through her hair. 'No, no, no, no,' she muttered under her breath. 'Why couldn't the guy have sent me a memo a couple of days ago? That way, I could have gotten everything ready and organised! But oh nooo, he just had to spring it on me today that I'm gonna die, didn't he?'

'Hello, sweetheart.'

Crap.

* * *

Klaus smirked as Caroline spun around on one heel, her blonde hair flying around her, looking ... _annoyed_?

Her eyes widened for a minute, before melting back into her annoyed features.

'What the heck is wrong with you? You give me a couple of minutes and then say, oh-so casually,' again, Caroline put on her Klaus-voice, 'Sweetheart, you've just signed your death warrant', seriously?!'

She put her hands on her hips and Klaus blinked.

_She was gorgeous..._

Her blonde hair was dazzlingly bright, flowing in soft waves around her shoulders, her blue eyes were angrily vivid, jewel-like, her cream top clinging to her curves and giving him a teasing glimpse of her cleavage.

'I mean, how the hell am I supposed to organise _anything_ with a few minutes?!' Caroline exclaimed. 'You gave me only a couple of minutes and now I can't _do_ anything! Feel bad, hybrid!'

Klaus blinked again.

'Well? Say something! Or are you going to silence me to death?!' Caroline scoffed. 'And just a thought, how – how would you do that?'

'_You're_ Caroline Forbes?' Klaus confirmed, wondering if he'd really have to kill her.

'Hmm, let's see, shall we?' Caroline pulled up five slim fingers. 'One, is she blonde? Tick. Two, is she annoying? Tick. Three, is she a neurotic control freak? Tick. Four, is she most likely to get tortured?'

Caroline suddenly crumpled to the ground, making Klaus suddenly come to life. Shooting to the ground, near her, Klaus ripped out the vervain dart that had come out of nowhere, glancing around curiously. Eyes wide with concern, Klaus picked her up and took her to his car.

OK, so it wasn't _his_ car, Klaus thought as he tore apart the door, putting her inside gently.

He straightened, feeling a vervain dart puncture through his shoulder. Glancing up, mouth pursing in contempt, Klaus made a show of yanking out the dart – seems Caroline was right about not being able to go through a day without getting tortured, he thought, anger swirling in his chest – and looked around. In a few minutes, he had the offender, heart ripped out and dumped unceremoniously in the forest – a member of the Mystic Falls council, he thought, glad he had done his homework.

Leaning against the car, Klaus waited for Caroline to wake up.

She moaned slightly, rubbing her back and groaned, pushing her hair away from her face. Klaus tried to suppress a smile; the groans she was emitting was remarkably childlike.

With a jolt, Caroline shot up, banging her head in the car. '... Ow,' she complained, rubbing her head, glancing around. 'What the hell ...?'

Klaus smiled at her in greeting. He didn't expect her reaction.

Letting out a surprised yelp, Caroline fell back, hitting her head on the seat and muttered, '_Seriously_?'

She rubbed at her head and got out of the car, eyes darting around. Caroline looked at Klaus very seriously and said, feeling a certain triumph, 'Told you so.'

'Told me what?' Klaus asked.

'So he speaks!' Caroline clapped mockingly. 'I told you that I can't go by a day without getting tortured. _That_ was proof.'

'You mean, you _made_ that happen?' Klaus gaped.

'God, you're so dense. I thought you were supposed to be all,' Caroline put on the British voice again, the one that amused Klaus, 'I'm a thousand years old and I know everything and I'm so awesome' or something? And no, I didn't stage that, what do you think I am, insane?'

Silence ensued, Klaus watching Caroline become increasingly impatient; god, she was adorable...

'Are you gonna kill me, now, or what?!' Caroline suddenly burst out. 'Because I've got a Decade Dance to organise in –,' Caroline checked her phone. 'Four hours. So get on with it.'

Klaus tilted his head. He suddenly shot up to Caroline and breathed, 'Don't let me get in your way, sweetheart. And I'm planning on attending this dance and the twenties? My favourite decade.'

He pulled back, giving her a dimpled smile before shooting away, leaving Caroline stunned.

* * *

That night, Elena was suddenly free, back in her room, dressing for the Decade Dance.

Caroline was at the dance, making sure everything was in order.

She gave a small smile to herself, patting down her twenties dress.

**A/N CONTINUED: OK, so yeah. I hope you enjoyed that. Please review - it'd mean a lot to me!**


End file.
